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I do, but….

I love, really love watching my husband marry two people. I love knowing the “behind the scenes” just how much he has prepared to make that service a moment of importance. I am proud as I watch him interact with the people gathered. Hearing his voice and his deep emotional connection within the moment, well it melts my heart. Every single time, I watch him preform a ceremony, I know just how lucky that couple is.

Recently, when a couple about to be married in a few months, came to him and said they didn’t want any “God stuff” in the ceremony……all sorts of emotions came to the surface. Not all my thoughts on this topic were kind and loving. For us and our family and friends, the “God stuff” is what holds us together. It is the tie that binds. The “God stuff” pretty much is the “reason for the season”. Oh I got a million of ’em!

I want to quote all sorts of relevant Bible verses. I want to explain in detail how the “God stuff” has lifted up our marriage to a higher level. I want to sit the couple down and wag my finger and tell them it takes more than two ordinary people to make this thing called marriage work. I can see myself getting red in the face and with fierce determination explaining that marriage is holy. It is of value. It is important. We follow customs and rituals, we view what we have built and worked for as an outward appearance of a sincere and deep commitment to our faith and our Creator. We have been blessed with being the guardians of this relationship and are called upon to nourish it and ultimately will be asked to answer for how we respected the institution of marriage.

Two months ago, Mr. Right and I marked our 29th anniversary. Next week our friends will celebrate 37 years of marriage. The following week, a widow we know will sadly walk for the first time through what would have been their 54th anniversary. We have friends who just did the happy dance as they celebrated one year of marriage. Come September my brother and sister in law will celebrate with joy 44 years of a solid marriage. They will all tell you that not every single day has been happy go lucky, care free and blissful. Some of those days and moments have been spent on their knees. Some days are just so blasted hard to go through. Sometimes you just give up and let the “God stuff” take over.

Then Mr. Right speaks up. By standing strong in my faith, speaking with kindness and grace, gently but firmly and with sincerity sharing the “God Stuff” during the marriage ceremony, possibly I can teach and lead this couple in the direction of a Christian strong marriage? Maybe by standing up for and being an example of what I believe to be the truth, I will be the small light that will guide them on the path?

Instead of jumping up and down and yelling and screaming “What do you mean you don’t want any “God stuff?” this might be the perfect opportunity for quiet strength. This could be a teaching moment of goodness to reveal itself. The gentle but oh so very strong reminder that love conquers all.

“I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love”. H. Beeche

Mr. Right sincerely feels it is an honor to marry two people. You can hear it by listening to his voice. You feel privileged watching as the ceremony unfolds. You feel like you are witnessing something of importance. Most of the couples he marries are so giddy with nerves or happiness that they won’t really remember the words that are spoken. My guess is that they will remember the feeling of being lifted up and celebrated, embraced with kindness, love and guidance.

…and the two shall be called one. matt.19:5

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