the nest

Trying out a new coffee cup today. So far I am loving the feel of it. I love the lip and the cover is different, however, I am adjusting. Doesn’t hurt that the coffee is really good.

I just read that a friend cried on and off all weekend. Her babes have left the nest. My heart actually hurts for her, darn it.

Our last one left 8 years ago. I can still feel that last hug and lump in my throat as we said I love you. I can still feel my head pound as the car drove off to another land (read that as college in California). Practicing three years earlier, as we hugged at the airport, said I love you and waved goodbye to the plane (headed to a university in Rhode Island) was of no help. I cried and had a lump in my throat and my head pounded then too. It does not get easier.

The really strange part is, Mr. Right and I worked hard for those two moments. We raised exceptional men who are smart and talented and funny and we gave them rock solid roots and we (get this) actually encouraged them to plan, stretch their wings and fly. We pushed them and stretched their minds and helped them make plans.

When I read that my friend had to wave goodbye and the weekend was unbearable, I was sad too. I was thinking well, maybe it is time for me to take off part of my description under my blog title. Maybe I should just delete the words “still learning to live in an empty nest”?

I couldn’t do it. We are still learning. The words stay for now.

Every time, I make lasagna and have extra noodles, son number 2 is nowhere to be found, to eat the leftovers. Each time I make creme puffs, boy number one is not there to eat the middle dough.

I will be honest and say I don’t miss four loads of laundry a day. I kind of don’t miss the daily juggling of the calendar and times. I don’t miss huge, smelly sneakers in almost every room I walked into. I don’t miss closing their bedroom doors, so my friends don’t for one moment think I would actually live like that.
I do not at all miss hearing myself say, “where did all that blood come from, what happened?” my non-favorite line……I don’t know? I do not miss hearing myself say, wear your seatbelt and drive safely. My heart still jumps a beat.

“guide us with your grace” is something we pray daily. We pray for guidance as we
find our way through this new chapter in our lives.

I do miss the sound of the basketball being dribbled over and over and over in the driveway. I do miss the unique sound of a skateboard on pavement. I do miss the belly laughs and the hearty appetites. I do miss the distinct sound of the door slamming and someone YELLING “Mom, I’m home, Where are you?”.

The empty nest has given us room to change a bit ourselves. We have made room for two new girls in our life. So instead of just two boys, we now can say we have four kids. We have a very loved Golden Retriever who helps us through the lonely times. We have more room for framed pictures of a sweet, sweet grandgirlie. I have a great sewing room. We have a massage room that doesn’t have one smelly sneaker laying about. I had free time to read an e-mail from son number 2 this morning. Telling me he loved the latest picture of his favorite niece. It is the new one on his desk this morning.

Here is another honesty moment. The empty nest has allowed us a bit more available money to save up for great family trips to look forward to.

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

ps. I want to tell my friend, that it will be alright & it get’s easier. That would be a lie. It has been 11 years since we sent the first one out of the nest. Somedays are still hard, we are still learning.

2 thoughts on “the nest

  1. When Emma left, my dad said: "it's like she is gone to the moon. You will hardly ever see her again." I thought, "oh your wrong." but he was right… She is gone, and I only have 3 years left with the boys. I don't know what I am supose to do. The other day I thought I shlould have had more kids, or I shouldnt have encouraged them to be independant a ready to go. I shluld have been selfish. But I didnt have more kids, and I did try and raise them to be ready for their lives. I wasnt selfish. So now I can just tbe alone I guess. I feel bad for your friend, I feel sad for me. I guess I better count every day of these last 3 years as a blessing and enjoy them.

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