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note to self: spend more time with friends

Recently I read an article (she has also written a book)  MWF seeks BFF.  That means to the rest of us……..Married White Female looking for a Best Friend Forever.  Because of her husband’s job, they had to relocate to another state.  Thus, she left behind several close friends and buddies.  Once settled in the new home and community, she realizes that she doesn’t have a best friend.  So the story goes……..she interviews friends for a year……….  blah, blah, blah……meets lots of great people, some turn into friends.  Yay.

Of course it made the wheels in my brain turn and twist.  Sure in this fast paced “busy” life we have all created, somehow that extra special BFF sometimes gets set aside, oh sure still there, just a bit, shall we say neglected by life.  Read that as kids and husbands and volunteering, and working inside and outside the home, and the dog and grocery shopping and cooking and baking……..okay, you get the idea.  Somehow, we have come to believe that hanging out with a girlfriend for three or four hours is “wasted time” we could be doing something productive for heaven’s sake.   Sure I have friends.  Just not a lot of them live near me.  We talk on the phone or e-mail.  Heck, I am even learning to send an occasional text message for Pete’s Sake!

Why is it that men (I am talking about Mr. Right) can go to a golf course and SPEND 5-6 hours with three other people he has NEVER met before and have a great afternoon of golf and conversation and walk away feeling like “that was a great afternoon with friends”?  I would be all worried about my outfit and what I said and did I make a good impression and was I polite enough and do I send a thank you note, on and on………..  Nope, they spend 6 hours laughing , talking, golfing, talking business, they might even enjoy a beverage after the last hole.  Did I mention they enjoy this sport in some pretty gorgeous places?

Is it the place that makes it easy for them to “make friends”?  Is it the common interest?  Is it that they turn off their phones and they play and laugh and make an effort to enjoy each other’s company?    The answer my friend is YES, YES they do.

Today in Doral, Florida with 84* and bright sunshine, Mr. Right went golfing with three new friends.  Today, in Orting, Washington  with about 39* and snowing, at a little hometown bakery, I sat inside and drank coffee and ate baked goods and talked about husbands and kids and grandkids and quilting and life with one friend.  Phones turned off.  Nope, it is not about the weather nor the location, friends can be friends anywhere and apparently, in any weather.

I happen to have a friend with whom we have been together 40 plus years!  Today, in a very, very small town while chatting and laughing………………..the answer hit me like a ton of bricks. I happen to have several BFF’s.  One in particular lives 20 minutes from me. I don’t need to place an ad for a friend.  She’s already in my life, she is part of who I am already.

I am very lucky to have a BFF for over 40 years.  I need to give myself a little Grace a bit more often and plan to be together.  For no other reason than to feed my soul and my being.  I need to be around her.  She brings out the best in me.  She makes me bring my “A game”.  She makes my brain move and twist and think.   Somehow the universe, or God, or angels or Kismet, or Karma saw fit to bring us together when we were about 6 years old.  I think we owe it to the universe to honor that meeting.  We were given a gift.  It is up to us to nurture it and place value on it.  Maybe today was a gift to gently remind us to be grateful for what we have.  God willing and the creek don’t rise, maybe we have another 40 plus years left of being BFF?

Friendship is where two hearts can meet and be at home.   (and not judge the other while eating baked goods)

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