I do love scoring a great coupon.  I love saving up change and using it for vacation.  I am a happy girl when I make my own laundry soap.  Cooking a huge batch of beans then freezing them in portioned freezer bags make me giggle with the money I save.  We use envelopes and yes we budget into those envelopes monthly and check up on things half way through the month.  The idea of forging ahead, not using “saving the almighty” dollar first and foremost is a bit uncomfortable and foreign.

So sometimes guilt creeps in when I splurge a little or a lot.  While purchasing airline tickets last night, for the first time in ….well ever…it wasn’t about the money.   Sure that is still important and it is a concern.  However, for the first time, we looked at how long I would be on the plane, comfort, safety, seat assignments and on and on.  It was not the cheapest way to go.  It took me a couple of seconds to wrap my brain around it and make the final decision.  done.

Yesterday, as well as today, I am sitting.  Yes, you read that right.  Sitting with my leg elevated and taking care of my health. For me, that is a difficult task.  My mind swirls and ideas pop in and I want to jump up and do this or that.  Thinking how my good health effects my family and our dog and our circle of friends, helps to keep me still.  Making the effort to take care of myself when needed, so that I can be ready to help others or be there for a friend, go back to cooking meals or even deliver a bike to a young boy this coming weekend.  Stupid side note: his bike was stolen from his yard behind a fence.  boo hiss!  I want to be able to be healthy and strong and walk up to the boy and say, there are good people in the world.

“the circle of wellness is supported by (both) movement and stillness”.   The same author (I happily stumbled upon once while in Oregon)  who wrote that quote also made a poster that is hanging in a physical-therapy office that reads:  “Courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”  m.a. radmacher

It is rather easy for me to pray for others, help others, bake for others, sew and make gifts for others.  I find it easy to work on other people’s issues or concerns rather than myself.  Taking the time, to slow down and listen to what I need is a complicated trick to me.  Focusing and really making an effort to treat myself well is happening, albeit at a very slow, one day at a time kind of pace, it is happening.

“She knew that she was worth far more than rubies.”    The ruby-red tulips on my table will remind me of that every time I glance in their direction today.