good behavior, good manners, grace, grateful

Grace pours easily out of a thermos

The time has come people.  It is way past time, someone, anyone said something.  The gig is up.  Once you read this post, if you take on the challenge and choose to continue reading…. you will never, ever again be able to say the phrase.  You know the one.   “The” phrase.  It send shivers up my back, worse than when someone steps on a cat’s tail.  It’s Ugly with a capital U.    Hold onto your hats folks, here it comes……………..“if there is anything I can do, please let me know”.  URGH.  Icky URGH.  I despise that phrase.  The thoughtless, uncaring, lazy person who invented it should have to scrub kitchen floors across the land on their hands and knees for the rest of their lazy lives!!

There I said it.  I have opened the box.  The words are out there for all to hear.  Saying that phrase shows very little class.  period.  Have the motivation to Grace someone with your time, or talents, thoughtfulness or kindness.  Making the hurting person have to come up with something for you to do to make YOU feel better is just poor behavior.

To sum up, the phrase really means…gosh, I know you are going through a difficult time, a rough patch, a death in the family, a car accident, a back operation, a very seriously hurt child, a lost job AND you are in unbelievable pain………….however, while you are down there at your lowest point, please come up with something for me to do to make you feel better!  Then I will feel better because I came and helped with what you listed.  Gee, that was easy.     Heads up folks, GRACE, (unless it is the kind of grace given to us for free whenever we ask from our Almighty God) is sometimes messy.  It has bad timing.  Offering up Grace to another person is sometimes hard.  Sometimes it takes thought.  Sometimes money or extra gas or hard work.  Sometimes it takes creative thinking skills.

So the next time, someone is hurting, don’t say anything stupid…………….just DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  If you hear about someone hurting, send them a post card.  We ordered 100 of ’em.  I bought oodles of post card stamps.  Ready to go at a moment’s notice.  Send the post card and tell them you are praying for them and then do it.  Once you send your card, you can think for a minute or a day and come up with something that will help.  Send a sympathy card that has a kind message.  Drive over to their home and bring something. If you can’t get there because of distance, bake some rolls and mail them overnight.  YES, it is expensive.  You will be glad you sent them.  Have some chocolate dipped strawberries sent.   Anything.  I mean it.  You do not have to bake rolls or bread, you do not have to make a casserole or spend $75.00 on flowers.  You need to show up. Be in their corner and offer simple Grace.   Maybe stop at the grocery store and buy some ground coffee and a sleeve of store-bought cookies?  Go to them and set it on the counter.  It will get used.  Give them a hug.  If it is uncomfortable for you, ask if you can walk their dog.  Then do it.  Go outside and water all the plants.  It will help, you will be doing something and those plants aren’t going to water themselves.

When our boys were teenagers, sadly, they were just learning about friends who were hit with the ugliness of sudden death of a family member.  We told them you don’t have to do anything “girlie” like take flowers or cookies.  You can be a man and use your “I have to fix it” genes.  Take the supplies and wash their car, they are going to need it.  Use the lawn mower and mow their lawn.  Do not ask, just tell them what you are doing and go DO IT.  Walk their dog.  Take the younger kids for a bike ride.  Take them to the library.  Give the parents a little probably much-needed break.  Take a pizza over and a bottle of soda for your friend.  Maybe just letting them talk (or not) would be a good thing.

If your friend’s wife has just had surgery.  Take rolls and homemade soup.  Take something for their little girl to stay busy with.  If your friend’s just lost their daughter to Cancer, send a card.  Send three.  Tell them you are praying for them.  Light the prayer candle and pray.  Then in a day or two when you catch your breath, go buy them a little Margret Furlong angel. When your friend’s daughter is bitten by a dog in the face and looses three teeth.  Send her a crown and a feather boa.  Five year old girls feel better wearing crowns.  Send the parents a post card telling them you are praying daily for their child.  What parent wouldn’t love folks in their corner?  When your friend is nervous about a dental appointment, send 25 text messages and “be there” for her even if you aren’t brave enough to be in the dentist office with her.  When a working mom is feeling a bit frazzled, take her a bouquet of dried lavender with a long purple polka dot ribbon, for no reason.

So today, when your friend calls and tells you her bad news, go cut a flower from your yard, fill up your thermos with your morning coffee and bike over there.  You can share a cup of joe and your flower.  Trust me, Grace will flow out of that thermos like never before, and in a magical sort of way you will share in the Grace that flows into your cup too.

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal.  It is a way to live your life.

Today, I am grateful for:  356.  postcards & stamps  357.  baskets to fill 358.  cooler weather  359.  angels  360.  piano music  361.  smell of baking rolls 362.  blooming geraniums  363.  glitter  364.  fresh school supplies  365.  holding a new puppy named Lola  366.  eating a fresh picked green bean 367.  old photographs  368.  weeded flower beds  369.  zucchini given to us by a neighbor  370.  washing machine (instead of a rock down by the river)

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