grab a broom

One of my favorite quotes by Margaret Thatcher is “Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”    Through her actions alone, she taught many of us about power, courage, strength and kindness, concern and standing for what you believe.   Yes, she was, as some say made of iron, however that iron was tempered with Grace.  May she rest in Peace.

Imagine being a friend in someone’s life, that lived out her life through her actions?   Imagine having a girlfriend like that?   Just by being in her space, you can feel her power, strength and kind spirit.  You somehow sit taller, you know in a moment that she would identify any malarkey that you might offer up.  You feel the pull towards her.  Your friend never says, “may I be honest with you?”  She never has to say that, because well, her behavior demonstrates her sincere honesty every time she opens her mouth. Don’t worry, she is also very giving………she has plenty of goodness and honesty, she has extra and is more than willing to share.  You just have to be gracious enough to take what she is offering.

When you meet her children you realize in an instant, they are well-adjusted, happy, kind souls each with a good sense of humor, respect and spirits that glow.  When you are around her animals you realize in an instant, they have been treated with kindness & respect and they offer that back.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my friend. healing hearts three I went with the purpose of taking some apples and carrots to one of her horses that needed some help with healing.  I now know why people use the word magnificent to describe some horses.  I get to use that word now too.  I had never fed a horse before.  I think Rem understood that and used her best manners.  I didn’t know horses took polite bites.  I thought they ate the whole thing….how silly of me.  She seemed to like my new red boots as well.  She nudged and slobbered sweet apple goodness onto them.  I would say they have been properly christened.

side note:  One thing that happens when you are “sick” is people treat you that way.  You never have to open doors.  You can forget to send birthday cards.  You never have to carry or lift anything.  You can have meltdowns and people allow you extra space.  They whisper behind your back and talk to others about you.   They don’t call you because you “need your rest”.  They stop speaking to you and your husband because well, they just don’t know what on earth to say.   When you are “sick” people don’t tell you the truth.  People continue to ask, “what can I do for you?” They end up doing nothing to help and heal and move forward because the “sick” person is too overwhelmed to come up with something they can do to make themselves feel better.  When you are “sick” people say” if there is anything I can do, let me know”.

Our lives have been intertwined since we were four-year olds.   We have played dress up.  We spent hours making paper flowers out of kleenex for our hair.  We have made and eaten chive soup in our backyards and made our siblings eat some too.  Once while sitting in my mother’s formal living room, me in a leg cast & her in a back brace, the door bell rang.  Someone asking for a donation for some thing or another.  They said oh never mind you two look like you have your own issues.  We belly laughed over that one.  Together we stumbled through High School and like grown up “adults” we met at a cafe and ate sandwiches and drank sodas while going to the same college.

healing hearts barnThe bag of apples I took to her horse yesterday weighed 12 pounds.  I carried it myself to the barn.  She asked me if I would help by closing a gate when we entered the arena.  I got to lead a horse around the arena.  She guided my hand and was a very considerate teacher.  I felt empowered not belittled.  She asked me to help sweep the barn.  She treated me like a person of value and worth. She gave me 16 fresh eggs.  She didn’t ask if my diet would include eggs.  She didn’t tell me I shouldn’t eat too many or would it be too much for me.  She said, fresh eggs will help you heal.  She acted like she normally would around me.

She is the visionary, owner, trainer, teacher, amazing person that runs Healing Hearts Ranch.  The brochure reads:  HeartStrides is a non-profit program that works with individuals through a variety of Equine-Assisted Learning activities.  What that really means is that she helps children and adults heal themselves on a daily basis.  It is sort of like standing in the middle of a facility where healing miracles happen on a regular basis.

Before I got on the freeway, I sent Mr. Right a text to let him know when I would be home.  My text was worded differently this time.  You owe my friend a thank you card.  He came back with “why?”  I wrote, “because I feel 1,000,000 times better about life.”

healing heartsWhat can you do for me?  For once let me give you an answer!  On my behalf, you can send a thank you email to my friend or  or phone her 360-539-7677  You can tell her thanks for helping me to heal.  Tell her thanks for dedicating her life to being honest and of value and helping kiddos move out of a wheel chair and into a saddle.  If you really want to do something for me, send her a check for $5.00 to help fill their scholarship fund. Yes, they are a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization……….did you expect any less from this sassy and smart business owner?

For every single person who has jumped ship because I am too sick to handle….for every person who walked away from a mom with a new baby with a diability………..for every single person who has had “friends” quietly disappear into the background not knowing what to say……..I am reminded yet again, how humble and grateful I am to call Kristy my friend, she has bathed me in the power of true friendship.  Yes, she has some tough stuff in her life, just like all of us.  She respects the coals we all have to walk over.  She is a friend who allows you the time and space to lift yourself up and hold your head high.  She gives me a place where I can wear cowgirl boots and step in anything over and over and feel okay about it.  Oh, she gives you positive energy, she gives you fresh eggs (and doesn’t say I should have a small piece of steak) she gives a great purple t-shirt (instead of pink one for the cure), she gives a video on healing (not fighting the good fight) she shares my “crazy” vision of healing myself and others through pure goodness, good food, having gratitude and having the courage to heal by my chosen actions on a daily table……………..and yes, she loves me enough to hand me a broom.  I have enough respect and love for her that with a happy spirit used it and was grateful.

ps.  um yes, I figured it out on my own, by helping the horse to heal, I got a little healing myself.

pss.  the next medical person to ask me in a quite voice, with a chart in their hands and a white coat on, &  with a gentle hand on my shoulder, “have you gone to therapy yet?”  I will answer in a clear voice, with dirty boots on, Do I go to therapy?  WHY YES!  It is helping me heal, thanks so much for asking.

2 thoughts on “grab a broom

  1. Ah Daleen, this is such an honest post. I am crying right now and I thank you for that. Really.
    This reminds me of when my friend lost her daughter suddenly. All I could do is show up and let her share. This is sometimes the best we can do for others who are in grief or going through a tough spot. Just show up and be present. (Maybe I will write about this!)
    Your post today reminds us all that we should engage, rather than disengage, in the lives of those who may need us. We need to get past our own fears of saying the wrong thing or whatever else keeps us from touching base with those in a pickle.
    My daughter loves horses and I’m going to share this post with her.
    Much love from the east coast! xo Joanne

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