Leaving the safety of vacation at the ocean was a tough trick this time. Yes, we both needed a break from what has become our routine. We both needed to breathe in some fresh ocean air and take the time to regroup. It was fun and happy and relaxing and healing and calming. However, when it was time to leave, the tears came.
We have been vacationing on the Oregon coast for 29 years. We took a few years off when we lived in North Carolina, Alaska and Europe (we even managed to sneak in a trip while living in Oklahoma). We started with a couple different hotels and cities. We do love Lincoln City, Newport, yet Cannon Beach seems to always draw us back. We always have a fun and enjoyable, refreshing and renewing trip. No matter for an overnight or five days. This time leaving was different. I sobbed and sobbed. It just was so hard to leave with the knowledge of coming home to more medical tests and procedures. I completely understand that we both needed a break and time to regroup, I just never imagined it would be so darn hard to come home. Don’t get me wrong, we have a really good life and a wonderful home, I just didn’t realize how much stress and fretting and the pressure of living with being sick is and I have associated with being at home. The ride home was okay. Mr. Right bent over backwards to chat and bring up good discussions. He was juggling it all and did a fine job.
It has been hard to settle back into a routine. I simply feel unsettled, jumpy. Once again, a friend steps in to rescue me. She wrote a very insightful and helpful note. Here is part of what she was gently telling me: I will never forget where I was when I received devastating news or information in my life. One thing I do believe in is sage burning and brushing to clear the air and take bad chi and memories out of a room. I have also repainted and rearranged and redecorated rooms to reclaim them for my healing and signify moving beyond the trauma. She offered to come over and help. She offered her time to help me heal. She always helps me see the Light! Have I mentioned what a smart (organic, whole wheat, agave nectar sweet) cookie she is?
In the last few months, in amongst all the yuck going on in my life, we have purchased a new sofa and family room chairs. In addition of waaaaay tooooo many new shoes and boots, a new family room rug, a new pillow & a chair recovered which have all added a fresh new look, I have been buying new clothes like we have a money tree in the back yard. I seem to be buying and convincing myself that exchanging old for something new and fresh will some how “help”. That by replacing “stuff” with new and bright will somehow bring healing into our home.
Then it hit me…………….of all places the shower. We had a beautiful (really, really pretty) dark green with brown swirls shower curtain. The color was rich and deep and I dare say magazine page worthy. It threw the deepest shadows and it was a safe little place to sob my heart out and no one could hear. It was a place to let go of a ton of bottled up do-do. In addition to being so beautiful the fabric was even more so because it was a fancy schmancy designer label that I found at a local Ross store for a very small sum of moola. Every time I looked at it, I had a silly smile on my face. Gosh, I am a good shopper. Golly, what a great buy on something so lovely. Almost on a daily basis, I came up with some perfect sentiment, regarding what a wonderful choice I had made. Recently, I started mulling around the idea of buying a new shower curtain. How could I ? I adore our shower curtain. I need to start looking and looking and looking. Something was out there that would top our “old” perfect shower curtain.
Mr. Right recently bought a new shower bar that bends out from the shower. It allows a shower curtain to hang in a semi-circle in place of the straight across version we are all so used to. I must admit it really opened up the space. It sure didn’t feel closed in. He also installed a new shower nozzle. Same as the last, this one has two heads. He thought it was time for an upgrade. We fully admit that we are shower nozzle snobs. We do love our shower. I purchased new organic soaps and tossed out the old stuff. Even bought a new loofah mitt and a new bath puff.
One of the good things about my friend is that she always wishes me is healing white light. Always. It warms my heart and soul. It makes me feel like somehow I can over come even the toughest of days. So, I marched out (well, not really, Mr. Right drove me) and I found the perfect new item. I purchased (with no coupon, however it was on sale) a stunning, most lovely, beautiful solid WHITE shower curtain. It has dandelion puffs “burned” into the white fabric, tossed here and there. Like making a wish. After I ironed it (which was a huge accomplishment in itself), Mr. Right hung it up with some clear, pretty flower shaped hangers. It looked nice, not take your breath away, page 87 of a before and after magazine shot…. simply, clean, new and nice.
Next morning, I had forgotten all about it until I stepped into the shower. As the hot steamy water poured over me the WHITE LIGHT surround me in pure goodness! The much larger area filled with healing white light. It feels lovely. Every single day that I step into that shower, it makes you forget all your troubles and sing. Yes, I said sing. It is a light, healing, open space that has been put together with the idea of healing and wellness. Who knew with my love of color and patterns that a solid white shower curtain could lift me up and bring a sense of wellness into my life?
Wonder if my friend will come over and clean out and bring some space and healing power to my closet? Can’t hurt to ask! She might have to bring extra sage to burn, as my closet is in no way uplifting, nor light, nor cheerful. Let’s start with all pink clothing? I wonder if the smell of burning pink clothing will be as healing and cleansing as the sage?