I am one of those people who can’t seem to gracefully ask for help. So when I spot that same character trait in another, I get all tingly. I know the feeling very well. You need help, but you do not want to ask for it. Life is crumbling around you and yet, for some weirdo reason, you can’t swallow your pride enough to ask for help. Sometimes, life is way too big, and you have no other choice but to ask for a hand.
When a tree fell across our driveway, we needed the help of friends and a chainsaw and a truck. Could not have cleared the mess with out help. We stop our mail when gone on holiday, drive ourselves to the airport and park our car there. It is easier to ask a family friend to watch our dog while we are gone. They really seem to love her and we of course take a huge “Thank You” basket for babysitting. Actually, our up coming holiday includes a first for us. We have had to ask a friend for help in looking in on our chickens. We are trading babysitting for a coffee card. Give ’em what they want! Trading is so much easier.
I have traded Salt & Vinegar potato chips for a ride to and from physical therapy. I have traded a coffee gift card for a ride to physical therapy. I came to the conclusion that I have an easier time trading than I do asking.
I have had to ask for oodles and oodles of help these last couple of years. After my knee replacement, I had to ask Mr. Right to keep track of all the medicine for a few weeks, I had to ask him to make all the meals and to clean the house and to fluff my pillows and for someone to drive me to Physical Therapy, to be honest, I had to just give up and let him do it all. I had nothing to trade. This last year, has been more of the same. It has all been so overwhelming, I just stopped asking. He is a very smart cookie (a snappy Snickerdoodle, sounds like him) and he doesn’t need for me to ask. He knows what I can and cannot do.
At some point in the calendar, Mr. Right has to return to his normal work schedule and life somehow has to stumble along until you can get back on track. Sure I can drag the chicken bedding and bag of straw to the chicken palace for fluffing and puffing. Yes, my brain is a bit more clear and I can resume, banking duties. Some things, I still need to wait until he gets home to manage.
Recently a friend had surgery. She will not be able to drive herself to all her Physical Therapy appointments. She really is more of a “doer and giver” than an “ask for help” sort of gal. We live several hours away from each other. While yes, I have sent her silly jokes and funny emails and goofy cards, I wanted to help her. It is a hard thing for some folks to ask for help. Instead of her wasting time fretting and feeling bad, I wanted to come up with a plan to help her “trade”.
The light bulb went off……….most likely in the shower………….best thinking place ever! I love this idea and I wanted to share it. I wanted to give people an idea of how to help someone while they are under the weather. Sure sending fake stick on moustaches is good for a laugh…………laughter is the best medicine. Sending dehydrated chicken soup through the mail, when you can’t take your own……………equally funny and thoughtful. I think this idea is a great one. You help the person, help themselves. You enjoy doing it and then they get 6 TIMES the happiness when they use your offering.
Okay, so I bought a 6 packet of cocoa packets. I happen to have to go cups at home. I also, just happen to have baskets, baskets, bins, totes, stacks of fabric just waiting to be used. The life of a quilter, there is always pieces of sassy, cute fabric you just can’t throw away. I have a gorgeous, clear, heavy, glass brick, with an opening in one end and a stopper. I store all my extra buttons in there. So pretty, so handy. I mention all this to tell you (& and I am guessing my friend will read this)………….I spent a total of 73 cents on a 6 package of cocoa. period. She will feel super happy that I used what I already had. I completely enjoyed the sewing and it was fun to use some happy fabric.
“Sew” I whipped up some cozies and tossed each a package of cocoa. I mailed them (well actually Mr. Right mailed them this morning) to her. So now, instead of asking for help, she just has to say…………”would you be interested in a trade? I have some cocoa to trade you for a quick trip to my appointment”.
Trading is so much happier, easier and admit it…………….WAY MORE FUN! Happy = Healing
Here’s to all our happy, good health and healing!
ps. and may I say, a huge heartfelt thank you for those who have helped me along this long journey. Some of my girlfriends earned gallons of hot cocoa! Mr. Right, well Mr. Right deserves the factory where they make all the cocoa ever produced on earth. The end.