haPPY, pure goodness

about the author

DSCN3099You know that flap on the back of a book jacket?  You know, the one that tells briefly about the author?  Sort scares me.

This wonderful idea/adventure/project has arisen in my life.  A friend and I are taking a leap of pure Faith and jumping into the book world.   We are determined to drink enough cappuccinos each on our own coast and write a book.  There are so many wonderful twists and turns to pulling this all together.  It is fascinating and makes my stomach a bit jumpy.  In a good way.  After the year I have come through, focusing on something as delicious and out of left field as writing a book is making me giddy as a school girl with her first crush.  IF nothing else, if the book is never published………..I get to hang out with a girlfriend and chat.  I get to chat and email and communicate as much as I want to.  It is never too much.  All in the name of “the book”.  We get to find our balance……….build teamwork………..click…………find our mojo……become the kind of girlfriends Hallmark sells cards to……by sending her 7 emails in one day, I am not looked upon as a needy friend or a clingy blogger………….the emails are all in the name of the goal.  The book.  Pretty cool way to make a life long friend.

The “about the author” paragraph is a little nugget of goodness.  I am always, always disappointed in the book jackets that say something like ….the author lives in Dallas, Texas with her two dogs.    Really, after writing 397 pages, that is all you got?  Come on!  Give me something to fall in love with you.  Pleeeease.  Make me smile or wince or giggle.  Help me “like” you, not just your grizzly murder mystery.

Similar to the 3 minute “chat” time on Jeopardy.  Time to get to know the contestants.  I happen to know that you fill out a form months before going on the show.  This is not an off the cuff short story.  They have had plenty of time to come up with something cleaver and sharp-witted.  Um, usually, I am wincing while I listen to their “remarkable” 15 seconds of fame.  ouch.

In the name of fairness….. using the alphabet as our guide, my “about the author” will follow my friend.  While we will each write our own, I don’t want mine to end up being HO HUM after a spectacular paragraph written by her.  The saying is true…girls compete with each other, grown women support each other…………….. I don’t want to let her down.  I want to write something more than…. she has medium brown hair and likes to walk on the beach.

While I can write a list of numbers to wow even the snootiest mathematician….. she eats 1,460 carrots a year….. she eats 365 red peppers a year….she bikes 4 miles a day (sometimes, one of those miles backwards), she has had 5 knee surgeries, she takes 47 supplements daily …and in the last 5 years….she has saved $6,729.63 in coupons.  (I think writing in third person is creepy.)DSCN3100

I would rather it be a bit more personal, witty, honest, entertaining, more delicious………..not salacious …. not National Enquirer magazine creepy……..just delightful to read.  Some how crafted in a way, that makes you want to read what that person has to say.   Something that would make you “put” that book in your library book bag and take it home to read.

DSCN3101I am a recovering sugar addict.   I talk too fast.  Like my own Easter egg hunt, I adore gathering fresh eggs.  I can’t seem to bake a decent loaf of gluten-free bread. I adore/love cappuccinos so much I want to marry them!  I HATE rolling up the garden hose. I LOVE having our dinner planned by 9 am.  I don’t really care for ice cream.   I can type pretty fast and efficiently.  I am a homebody.  Yet, now and then I LOVE to travel and explore.  I was never allowed to chew gum as a child, thought I would devour it as an adult, didn’t happen.  I LOVE wearing jeans.  Again, never allowed as a child.  Now, I wear them everywhere, almost every day of my life. I have two adorable grandgirlies.  I don’t like chocolate as much as everyone else does.   I like to text, but I HATE talking on cell phones.  I won’t even answer it if it rings, pretending “not to know how”.  I don’t like tea.  I LOVE coffee.  I love the perfect lip on my coffee mug.  I am not a fan of Christmas.  I adore making Valentines.  I over think everything.  I mean everything.  I love wearing high heels.  I love walking into church with a plush carpet and seeing my high heels when I look down.  I love wearing bracelets.  I love my joyful hair.  I love creating something every single day of my life.  I can’t even describe how giddy I am over my  Mr. Right.  We have been “going steady” for over 32 years.  I wish everyone had a Mr. Right in their life.  It makes everything seem more fancy.   I love watching him laugh with his brother and I adore watching him marry a fresh young couple.  I detest Brussels Sprouts.  I like having very, very short nails with a natural manicure.  After a little bout with brain fog, I can’t seem to remember fully how to play the piano. People think I can take a good picture, honest alert…… I have to take 27 pictures to get two that are in focus.  I like using good manners.  I feel like I should have been born in the 1950’s.  I like to hand quilt, sew, cross stitch, cook, set a pretty table & play house.  I brush my dog every other day.  I can’t get a brush through my hair.  I love and collect rolling pins.  I am a grumpy morning person.  I want to save up for an infrared sauna.  I come up with my best ideas in the shower.   I secretly love that my skin is a glowing shade of peachy orange from eating so many fruits and vegetables. I do not like beige pants on anyone.    I love to go barefoot. 

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