well done

Mom, this is Patton.  Mom, this is Katy.  Mom, this is Ryan.  Mom, this is Desiree.  Mom, this is Luke.  Mom, this is Christy.  Mom, this is Brian.  Mom, this is Audrey.  Mom, this is Tim.   This is my mom.

That scene played over and over and over again.  I didn’t know it at the time.  However, now I know what an amazing compliment it was.

horseI read a note from a friend yesterday.  She was telling about her daughter’s boyfriend.  Smart kid.  Good kid.  Nice kid.  Hardworking kid.  Troubled family.  She said he liked hanging around and he loved her family.  You know, mom, dad, siblings, dogs, cats, family,scheduling, driving kids everywhere, chickens, horses,horse shows and competitions,  jobs, school, volunteering, church, meals together, hobbies, interests, passions, meals on the run, missed meals, garage that needs some TLC, bills to pay, correspondence to catch up on, sickness and health…..in other words…. normal, average, regular old family.

After reading it, I wanted to tell her well done.  For some reason, it jumped off the page to me.  She and her Mr. Right, had raised their kids so well, in a such a loving, kind, average family that her daughter felt comfortable bringing a friend home to share all that she has.   The kid wanted to hang out because it felt good.  It felt okay.  It felt safe.

I told this story to another friend.  They said, they were cautious about bringing friends home.  They didn’t want people to meet the parents, especially on weekends when the parents  may have indulged in a few too many adult beverages.  sigh.

I took a moment to remember back.  Our kids brought home oodles of new friends.  Some were troubled.  Some were plum worn out.  Some were nervous and some were lonely.  Some were happy and just glad to meet new people.    ALL were welcome.  We included every single one of them in our dinner of the day.  Or the project we were working on.  We included some in our non-traditional Christmas cookie decorating event.  We included others in Fourth of July activities.  We took extra kids to the park, museums, the pool, science experiments, convinced a few to help paint or do yard work,  putt-putt, concerts, school functions and there was always some extra kiddo to play croquet with in our back yard.  All took off their baseball hats and were welcome at our table. family table

SMACK to the forehead.  I just figured it out.  It was a HUGE compliment.  It was our kids way of saying well done.  (actually they probably said something more like, they don’t embarrass me too much, they are pretty nice, & they will help figure this all out, come on, you will have fun)

So to my friend and her husband……Your home, your family is actually a sanctuary.  You have created a place of calm, peace, grace and goodness.  Oh sure there are times when I bet it doesn’t feel very peace filled.  We raised kids, too.

I just wanted to tell you what the rest of us see.  You are making a HUGE difference.  Well Done.

It is an honor to call you friend.


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