I try, oh I give it the old college try. I try and forget the day and numbers. Some days I am successful. Other days and weeks, I am like an elephant, I can’t forget. It has been 1 year, 6 months and 17 days since I was told the dreaded words. You are very sick. Yuck, no one wants to hear those words.
Rally the kids and Mr. Right, let’s do this thing. I have the best cheer leading family around. I have a couple of friends who will talk me through medicine at lunch and listen when I send my daily email about the latest health nugget I have discovered. I indeed have a couple of friends who will let me vent and chatter on and on about this or that. Mr. Right keeps making juice even when I whine about it tasting more like medicine, less like cheerful juice. My kids are experts at sending daily laughs and giggles.
Seems like lately, I have lost some mojo. I have lost my motivation and get up and go. I have to dust myself off and jump back on the bike and get back in the spirit of things. It all seems to weigh heavy on my shoulders. Finding I am waking up at night again, worrying about this or that. Sometimes it is rather lonely telling the dog my troubles. I find myself choosing who I whine to. The dog is the best choice ever. She never rolls her eyes, she never laughs at what I am having to do, she listens until I can’t whine anymore.
Writing makes me happy. When I write, I can be anyone I wish. I don’t have to have my feelings too close to the surface. I don’t have to take medicine or drink juice. I can use all different colored pens and doodle and write and make huge smiley faces. I can underline the parts that I like best. I can use a red pen to cross out the goofy parts.
However, when it all gets to be a bit too much, too heavy, too dramatic, I write. I write for me. I write on my blog or I find myself in a world all my own, writing a children’s book.
“Flossy eats 300-400 pounds of food a day. She doesn’t eat peanuts. Everyone knows elephants don’t eat peanuts”.
Yes, I wrote a children’s book! I am tickled to even say that. Once before, I wrote a children’s book. I learned quite a bit. I poured my heart and soul into that book and then sent it (the only copy) to the illustrator in Minnesota. Never to be heard from again. Some where out in the world is “A Very Busy Dragonfly”.
I penned this story to go along with the polka dot elephants I am making for Christmas gifts. Each a different color polka dot, each for a very special kiddo, each with a red tail (the elephants, not the kiddos).
I really like elephants. I love that with each stuffed toy comes with a bed time story. I love that toy elephant has a jingle bell inside their belly.
“Flossy walked as fast as she could to a nearby herd of elephants. Everyone knows elephants can’t run”.
It is one of my Christmas in July projects. I swoon at the idea of opening a sealed box, around November 15th and realizing that I have four elephants and books to go with them. Oh look, there are our Christmas return labels that I ordered back in July, too!
“Elephants are very intelligent, which is another word for smarty pants. Everyone knows elephants don’t wear pants”.
When you fall into story land, you can forget the world. You can forget your troubles.
Just like I want the kids to do, when they fall into my story about Flossy and her swishy red tail.
Smiling they fell asleep and think about elephants……