in a jam

buttercupSort of toying with the idea of stopping my lunch time  (Budwig Protocol) “medicine” for a bit.

Lately it is yucky(ha, it is always been yucky) a bit on the depressing side, sincerely difficult to get motivated…  blah, blah, blah. Been a little over 2 years now and taking it is not getting easier. Maybe it is time for a change or at least a couple of weeks off?
The thing about taking full responsibility of your own health….you don’t have someone telling you when you have to take 8 weeks or 8 months of this protocol or that.  No one is telling you, leave it up to me, I have your best interest at heart. I know what is best for you.  I will tell you what to do and what to take, don’t worry your pretty little head about a thing.
You have to figure every little thing out yourself.  You have to put in 1,2 and sometimes 3 hours a day studying and researching and coming up with the best of the best health and wellness options.
Yes, you have to take responsibility for starting as well as stopping.  That also means dealing with the guilt and or fear ………...I am getting healthy so I better keep on doing exactly what I have been doing.
(Somewhat like a superstitious professional Hockey Player.  I ate a PB & J last Tuesday at 4 and we won, so from now on I better eat the exact meal at the exact time, wearing my “lucky” faded t-shirt.)
During my lunch routine, I save cards to read, funny emails, silly you tube videos, happy sites, laughter filled blogs for that time.
I appreciate the friends & family that send me “smile” videos to watch during my medicine time.   I know everyone is getting mighty “tired” of the let’s cheer her up routine.  I know I am tired of it.  I don’t have a certain color that I flaunt and wave.  I don’t look super sick (I hope), so folks always just say, “you’re looking good”.  I exercise by myself and sit in the sunshine by myself, there is no “team healthy” group that meets and lifts spirits up.
On days when it seems more messy than others, I thumb through vacation scrapbooks.  I look at pictures of the grands.  I play videos of them giggling or telling me Happy Birthday.  Just the jump start I needed to continue on down the road.
Oh sure, Mr. Right & a few friends use their pon poms from time to time and even throw in a jazz hand move now and then.  Just most of the time it is me and the dog.  Quietly, working our way through the pile up.
I am just sort of loosing my way.  Spirit dragging if you will.   Maybe I need to stick with it and just dig a little deeper for more fun, happy stuff? buttercup 2
Today, I watched a video.
I saw the words, ” traffic jam” and thought, hey that sounds like me.  In a jam.
Then I watched and sang along.  FULL BLAST.
A guy wearing cool white sunglasses, singling full out in his car, smiling at strangers as he be bopped along to Build Me up Buttercup.
I listened to it 3 times, loudly and yes, thanks for asking , full blast.
It helped me though today’s “traffic jam”.  The song and the attitude of the singing driver…went a long way in lifting my spirits.  Hey, he has troubles just like everyone else.  Except for a few minutes while in a traffic jam, he sang his way clear.
What songs or blogs do you read to get over the hump of taking medicine or folding laundry or scrubbing the kitchen floor?
buttercup 3I am grateful and appreciative that I am finding my health. Sometimes it is hidden in a silly song, Sometimes, I find talking to my dog helps me stay on track.  Sometimes being creative helps the process.
Traffic jams are tricky.  That make us slow down and give us time to think.  We can grumble and fret, however, neither speeds the process up.  Singing our way through the jam may just be the perfect solution.
I need some cool new white sunglasses.

2 thoughts on “in a jam

  1. Your blog looks really pretty- I think you changed the theme a bit- yes? (or am I losing my marbles?) 🙂
    I have been going to some committee meetings for a new ministry we are working on. At the training, the director said that we have to re-learn to listen to our intuition. Sometimes we have covered it up, for many reasons, and it’s time to learn to respect it again.
    So I say, if you need a break from the noon time meds, give yourself a break.
    In a similar sort of issue, I have not been weighing myself lately. Instead, I am hoping that by trusting myself, I will simply make the good decisions that I’ve been teaching myself about for the past several years. I am tired of getting depressed over a pound or two here or there. If my pants are tight, I’m just going to be careful until they are not.
    For now, this is working. My pants still fit after about a month of not weighing myself. I seem to be making good decisions about what to eat and what not to eat. I’m trusting myself on this.
    xo Joanne

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