One of my least favorite things to do is to shop for and buy clothes for myself or anyone, really. If I had won the big power ball drawing a couple weeks ago, right this minute, there would be some single mom or dad that needed a job and loved to shop, would be getting their list together to go out and find, shop, buy me some clothes.
Even when I was a young girl. I didn’t care for shopping one iota.
My mother would buy our clothes at Nordstrom’s before Nordstrom’s was cool ………… some summer outfit sets from Sears catalog & I do remember standing in the downtown JC Penney’s store while she shopped for our socks, slips and undies.
Some of the clothes I liked, some I really loathed. It didn’t really matter, I wore the stuff anyway. I did not voice my opinion. That’s just how proper young ladies behaved.
One morning it was chilly, by then girls were allowed to wear pants to school (for the record, my mother was against this ruling), I put on a brand new pair of tan colored corduroy pants and I am sure, a matching cardigan set. One thing I liked about those pants were that they were bell bottom. Another thing I liked, they were hip huggers. Finally, I was starting to dress like a cool kid.
While walking down 7th Street to school, you KNOW what I am going to type next…… I was day dreaming. I was looking at the clouds and trying to find animals. I was looking at tree branches and looking for hidden shapes. One thing led to another and down I went.
Ripped knees (yes, both), bloody, gravel, heck even part of the corduroy went missing. Weird, I didn’t know you could rub that stuff off? My palms hurt and had little pieces of gravel embedded into them. They were red and ugly.
I turned and walked back home. crying.
I had to ring the bell. My mother came to the door, hands on hips and before opening the screen door, sternly inquired: How did this HAPPEN?
me: I don’t know.
me: I guess I was day dreaming and my long legs somehow got tangled into the bell bottom part and I sort of tripped on the uneven sidewalk & I fell down.
her: Was it because you didn’t like the pants or the color that you were not careful? (how do moms know that stuff?) Go get cleaned up and I will lay out another outfit for you to wear today. I will drive you to school or you will be late.
me: yes, mom
I don’t even have to type that she chose a dress for me to wear and she hurried me along so that I would not be late.
3 years ago, when I was told I was extremely ill, one of my first questions was “How did this HAPPEN”? Four “specialists” later, no one had an answer. They told me to focus on the here & now and not to worry about that nonsense. “These things just happen”.
side note: I can’t even begin to imagine saying to my mother, “these things just happen”. I can tell you, even typing those 4 words feels like sassing 40+ years later.
I wrote down 15 things I thought got me in this pickle. I finally found a wise person who asked me one question, you guessed it, “How do you think this happened?” She was the first & last medical person to have asked that question.
I handed over my list. She added another 2 things at the bottom of my list.
Great starting place, she said. Now , we at least know what we need to address so this does not happen again. Let’s get to it.
Today, 3 years later, 134 positive changes and choices……..I am doing better. I am too much of a chicken, realist, nervous Nelly to say I am fixed, cured to slip back into my old undereducated, non-researched ways. In no way do I want to JINX my FLOURISHING good health.
Here’s the thing: most likely you need to sit down, be honest, begin a list to figure out how this thing (heart attack, cancer, divorce, job loss, fender bender, lost phone, friendship break-up ….) happened. Then you need to take positive action!
You (me) had a huge part in the problem. Take ownership. It feels powerful. It feels like you are taking control and could actually solved this puzzle.
Maybe you were day dreaming or not paying attention and caused a fender bender or maybe you did not value the job you had and were sloppy? Are you dressing for the job you currently have or the one you want? Friendships take effort, just maybe you didn’t put in your fair share? Have you fallen into the trap of over glamorizing the excuse of being “busy”? Quite possibly, your poor choices of: water, lack of iodine, lack of vitamin d, daily sugar fix, no exercise, stress, heavy metals, extreme poor food choices, lack of green food had something to do with your illness?
You can blame the other person, luck of the draw, bad luck or “these things just happen”. The truth of the matter is , blame heals no one or situation.
Maybe you didn’t like the ugly tan color of the pants in the first place? Maybe you should have been strong enough to politely say, no thank you to begin with? You may need to work up, gather, learn courage now to politely say, no thank you and walk away, head held high.
I am here to tell you, if you put enough effort and action into your HEALTHY HEALING, THRIVING, FLOURISHING list the odds are stacked in your favor.
“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” Aristotle
We are in this together, here’s to our good health and wellness.