Everyone wants to celebrate engagements and weddings.
Presents, cards, wrapping paper and fancy lush bows, the overwhelming color scheme is white or silver. If you haven’t been to a “get hitched” ceremony lately, lots of brides & grooms offer a special box of some kind to gather all the cards. Always a table dressed up fancy as the “gift table”
This is a big deal folks. Everyone wants to get in on the celebration. Everyone (and I am talking about 90-200 people) want some of that goodness to rub off on them.
Fast forward say four years or even 12 years later. How many Anniversary cards do those young couples receive? Do their parents even send a card and gift?
Folks we are talking about thousands upon thousands of dollars for one “party”. We are talking about folks buying new undies, new clothes, new shoes, getting hair cuts, having their nails done, renting clothes. This is BIG, I tell ya.
Then, a mere 12 months later, maybe one or two anniversary cards. Do the couples themselves get dressed up and celebrate? Do they exchange cards or gifts? Do they rip open a package of Oreos to celebrate that Oreo cake they had to have constructed for the ceremony?
Do we all continue to lift up the couple with encouragement and celebration? Who does Hallmark sell all those anniversary cards to exactly? You know the really expensive cards on the top row? Seriously, those are pricey. Jeepers, you really have to like a couple to dish out that kind of moolah.
During some ceremonies, we as the congregation promised to lift up this couple and walk with them through good times and bad. Are we keeping our promise?
Have you remembered to invite those couples to dinner? Have you sent an anniversary card this year?
I am offering up a gentle reminder and suggestion. This life is tough. Maybe sending out cards will soften the edges and help us remember to celebrate? Maybe a card or note will gently remind other couples we are in their corner?
Lots of statistics out there that tell us how few marriages “make it”.
Somehow, as a society we expect these young couples who have not even hosted a formal dinner party for 6 with written invitations and matching place cards to throw an enormous PARTY for 200 to celebrate their union. Somehow, we as a society expect so many youngins’ to wear the “right” clothes, say and do the right things and because they do all that, the union will work.
Mr. Right and I send anniversary cards. We expect our kids to celebrate. We want to show by example. We try our best to remember and lift up couples.
(Now, we don’t go all wild and try to push our values on others. If they choose not to celebrate or wait until next Saturday to go out to a restaurant to toast their big day, good for them. No, we are not going to continue to jump up and down if another couple is just more quiet & private about their joy.)
Except when it comes to our own kiddos. They don’t get a choice whether or not we lift them up and celebrate them. They get bathed in Grace & Goodness weather they like it or not.
Some years we send a hand-made, time-consuming gift. Stitched with such love and fierceness that it is mighty difficult to unwind. We try and send silly cards to remember to have humor. One year, we sent aluminum pie pans, foil, cookie cutters to celebrate an “aluminum” year. One year, we gave toilet paper, paper towels and napkins. To celebrate the “cotton” year. haha
Always a card. Sometimes a sweet little metal sign that simply says:
Being married is all sorts of wild and wonderful feelings mixed together. Happy, tricky, goofy, funny, hard, easy breezy, lovely, weird, interesting but always, so worth it.
We want our children to know that we are in their corner. We will lift them up and celebrate what they do and who they love. It is our calling to help our grands have parents that are so strong in their marriage, that it spills over into creating a family of strength and goodness.
Here’s to G & M as they celebrate 4 years of Marriage, today!
Here’s to D & G as they celebrate 12 years of Marriage, tomorrow!
With Love & Congratulations,
Cheers, Mom & Dad