Do you have one of those magnification mirrors? I do and it is mounted in the master bathroom. It helps me put on my “war paint”. Read that as fancy girly make up to make me look a little more polished. Now, that I am thinking about it, it has a magnification of times 7. Yes, that means, I find myself criticizing and critiquing myself 7 times closer, bigger, frightening some days, I tell ya.
I am mean. I find every single little flaw and try and “fix” it. I am relentless.
What? You never knew I was a meanie? Let me fill you in on some background before I tell you how mean I can be.
I send get well cards, oodles of them. I bake bread for the neighbors, I make treats and write cards to our postal worker. One time, when we had to call the fire department, the next week, I baked cookies and took them over while still fresh. Yes, these are paid firemen and women. They have a good pension and benefits. I , for some reason felt the NEED to say thank you for finding our home and doing your job.
I bake muffins and offer coffee to the fence repair man, the garage door repair man, the plumber, the electrician and on and on. I shake their hands, I tell them they did a very good job. I send in nice cards for hurting folks at Mr. Right’s work.
I make rice bags for folks who have been in a car accident. I help add a dollar to folks who are saving up for a trip to Paris.
I send notes to people I have not seen in person in over 20 years. “Thinking of you today, I am wearing the apron you made me as I make bread, using your recipe”.
I light prayer candles for people. I actually pray. Then I send a post card to them to tell them they are loved and prayed for.
Heck, we are the kind of people who write & send a letter to the Les Swab people and tell them thank you for helping us with a flat tire repair.
I actually leave glowing comments on other people’s blogs. I tell them they inspire or make me feel better or that they are doing a good job.
We were at a fancy function on New Year’s Eve. I actually, went over to the caterer’s and told them thank you and what a nice job they were doing. Did I like the food? Not particularly. I just know from years as a caterer, what a hard job it can be and a trick on a holiday to boot. A couple of kind words really helps.
WHO DOES THIS? me.
I remember to send a few dozen anniversary cards a year. Just yesterday, I transferred over and filled in all the little boxes on the new calendar with everyone in the known world, birth dates.
When a kid I know had a bike stolen, we took a gently used one over. When a different kid I know had her purse stolen, I made her a new fancy purse. I wanted those kids to know that GOOD STUFF does indeed happen in this world.
Here is a secret: I read it today. It seemed to jump off the page and right into my heart and soul.
Life can wear you down if you don’t fill yourself up.
I chose my word for the year. I was searching and looking for a word to fit the kind of year I want to create. Yes, I am going to create the kind of year I would like. Yes, we can do that. It is within our power.
I once met a huge dog named Mercy and I fell in love. The dog was so kind and gentle and loving and well, her name fit perfectly.
My word sort of found me this year..…… I am going to bathe myself in mercy.
Yes, you read that correctly.
I am going to be more kind to myself. I am going to make an effort to be more gentle and loving towards me.
Instead of saying how fat I am, I am going to gently remind myself that I have lost 10 dress sizes in two years. I am healthier now than I have been in years.
Instead of beating myself up about having a piece of toast, I am baking bread once a month. Sure I am giving away one of the loaves, but I am going to be a big girl and enjoy a slice of toast. Homemade with love. I am going to make an effort to not only feed my body but also my soul.
Instead of kicking myself for not vacuuming daily, I am going to gently remind myself what a beautiful home I have helped create.
Instead of bashing myself about forgetting a birth date, a special occasion or sending a gift on time, I am going to pat myself on the back for all the times I remember.
Instead of judging myself so harshly, I am going to have a little mercy and remind myself how smart I was to wear leggings under a fancy dress because it was so cold outside.
Instead of attending a function that I have less than zero desire to attend, I am going to be a kind to myself girl and politely decline.
My mind is swirling. I already like how this is unfolding. I am smiling.
I like myself more than I did two days ago.
I am proud of myself.
I have a couple of friends who have already chosen their words for the new year……sanity, forgiveness, order, joy.
I would love for you to share your word. We are in this together. Two heads are better than one, sort of thing.
May Goodness and Mercy follow us all into the new year!
ps. I will gladly take in kind and loving suggestions as I work my new word. thanks, friends.
“Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.” Matthew 5:7