good for the soul

Change is good for the soul – and your health!

After making the life-changing decision to heal naturally, Daleen decided that many changes in her lifestyle were necessary.  After all, cancer can only happen if your immune system can’t fight it, and that means your immune system is either broken or damaged.  Either way, repairs are in order.  But where to start?

Let me give you some background here.  Neither Daleen or I were well versed in healthy immune systems.  We thought we were pretty healthy people.  We’d been vegetarians – okay for the picky among you technically we’re pescatarians which simply means we also eat fish.  We did not become vegetarians because we didn’t wish to eat animals, we went down that road because of the chemicals and hormones in meat.  Back to the topic now.    We had a healthy diet and thought we also had a healthy lifestyle.  Boy, were we ever wrong.

Knowing we needed to fix her immune system and do it fast, we turned to other folks who have gone before us down the road to natural healing.  Enter Bill Henderson.  Billbillhenderson watched his wife die a horribly painful death due to cancer, despite her doing everything the doctor ordered.  After her death, Bill decided that there had to be a better way; that his wife did not die in vain.  He wrote a book Cancer-Free, Your Guide to Gentle, Non-Toxic Healing.  Bill wrote in an understanding way.  He’s non-judgmental and offered that most important quality of all.  Hope.  He wrote there are hundreds of ways to cure cancer without toxic chemicals.  I’ve often thought there are angels among us, certainly Bill was one of them and sadly (or happily for him) he’s now among them having passed away about 18 months ago.  Another side trip here – when you hear chemotherapy, think toxic chemicals.  The first chemotherapy drugs were an advent of poison gas from World War I.  Back once more.  Bill introduced us to others who think alike and who share their knowledge.  Chris Wark, Dr. Johanna Budwig, Kris Carr and so many more.

We stopped all toxic chemicals in the house.  That means no more dryer sheets, no more commercial laundry detergent.  Toss out shampoos, soaps, most cleaners.  Out went toothpaste (fluoride and sugar), deodorants (aluminum), and almost every container of makeup.  If you are reading this and you happen to be of the female persuasion think about that.  What would you do if you couldn’t use your favorite brands of makeup?  Or virtually any kind.  It took months and months to find safe substitutes.  Next came a look at food.  Nothing with artificial preservatives or colorings.  No more processed sugar (sugar is just bad even if you are cancer free). No Dairy. Say goodbye to gluten.  No peanut butter or peanuts (peanuts have a mold that is harmless – unless you have cancer), started 64 ounces of freshly made juice daily (thank you Champion juicer!) – my juicer even has flame decals as I’m the fastest juicer in town.  Ok, maybe not but the flames are cool.20170508_201017-1_resized

Started taking chlorella, iodine, magnesium and magnesium baths.  Beta glucan, turmeric, started eating a lot of mushrooms and mushrooms capsules (thanks, Paul Stamets) 20,000 IU of Vitamin D daily, Zinc, Iron and selenium levels established and maintained.  Ph balance checked on schedule.

 

Bought a Berkey water filter – the best in the business.  Got a Rebound-Air (good for the lymphatic system) a Biomat for deep infrared heating (kills cancer cells) and took baking soda baths.  Enter 35% Hydrogen Peroxide (when you pour 35% hydrogen peroxide into bath water, for every cup of H2O2, near 100 Liters of Oxygen is released. Oxygen creates an unhealthy environment for cancer cells), said no to phthalates, stopped touching cash register receipts (toxic chemicals) and tossed all sunscreen (toxic chemicals that you rub into your skin!)and instead started getting 45 minutes of sunshine daily.  Regular massages, longer walks and only 100% cotton bed linens – the list goes on and on.  It’s a long, tough process and it’s ever changing as our knowledge grows.

In short, Daleen took charge of her health.  We’re acutely aware that health is a gift but a gift that needs continual attention.  Some changes were easy, some for Daleen were incredibly difficult.  There are other changes, psychological changes that are necessary 20151231_075654-1too.  We created a “Gratitude Jar” and when we are grateful, we write it down on a slip of paper and at the end of the year, we read those slips.  Everyone has something to be grateful for, this makes it easier to remember.  If we had something in the house that did not bring joy or wasn’t useful, out it went!  She read more, traveled more, even though it tired her terribly, and started being more positive, despite the horrible negatives in her life.

All these changes were necessary and all are necessary.  There’s a hundred more if you’d like the list, let me know and I’ll happily send it to you.  The point is that in order to maintain a healthy body, you have to work at it.  Some days you don’t have the energy and that’s okay.  Get a good coach who will nag you, push you and hold you when nothing is going your way.  Most of all, seek out information from those that have been there, you don’t have to do it alone.  If you just need a wee boost, let me know – I developed a fine voice in the Army to encourage you!

Tomorrow I ‘ll wrap this all up!

Hoover

Cancer sucks.  There, I said it.  I know, one shouldn’t use the word sucks.  It’s impolite vacuumand certainly, we taught our sons to avoid using it if they could and to come up with a different word.  Knowing that a vacuum cleaner does indeed “suck” up dust & dirt, they chose to use the word “Hoover” in place of it.  It’s hard not to laugh when you hear one of them say “These lima beans hoover!”  However, sometimes it’s an entirely appropriate word and when applied to the word cancer, it’s become almost eloquent.

The truth of the matter is everything about cancer sucks.  People learn that the reason they have it in the form they do is that their immune system was at best damaged, at worst broken. They learn it’s rarely the “luck of the draw” and that they are primarily responsible and that sucks. They learn that chemotherapy and radiation also suck and they often don’t work well if at all and can even cause new cancers.  They learn that there is an alternative – natural healing – but when they tell anyone who wears a white coat about natural healing, they learn that all of a sudden those doctors want nothing to do with them.  The very people they entrusted with their health and well-being turn their backs on them and that sucks.

Then they learn that they can actually become healthy and suddenly the world sucks a little less.  They make changes, oh so many changes in their lives and their lifestyles and slowly, ever so slowly they start to feel better.  Not great, but better than before and so their condition sucks a wee bit less.

They discover people like Bill Henderson, Chris Wark, Kris Carr, Dr. Michael Gregor, Dr. Marc Sircus, Dr. Josh Axe, Dr. Johanna Budwig, Paul Stamets, Ty Bolinger and so much more who are very direct about the crazy idea that you can heal yourself!  Yes it’s slow and yes some of it is not much fun and some of it is particularly unpleasant but from anger and more than a little despair, they learn the word hope is still out there waiting for them.  One magical night when getting ready for bed, they realize that a whole day has gone by without thinking about how their life because of cancer sucks.  On that day, life gets infinitely better and not only does anger fade, but hope grows!

Such has been Daleen’s life for the past 5 years.  She went from anger at the medical profession, who abandoned her when they learned she was going down a natural path to wellness, to acceptance. Acceptance that some folks make a living by keeping cancer myths alive to acceptance that the “pink” crowd makes a living by deceiving people into thinking that buying pink boxes of Jell-O or pink buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken helps “the cause.”  Acceptance that cancer (in particular breast cancer) takes a long time to develop and that medical decisions need not happen with lightning speed.

Together (as her support person) we’ve learned that cancer isn’t a fight, it’s a process.  Cancer is your body’s way of telling you that something, usually many things, are amiss and you better pay attention.  Change your life.  Change your lifestyle.  We’ve all heard the phrase “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.”  So it is with cancer.  If you live the same lifestyle you did before you were diagnosed with cancer after being diagnosed, you can expect the same results.

So, this week we celebrate 5 years of living.  5 years we thought we didn’t have.  5 years of learning how not to get angry and 5 years of learning acceptance.  We’ve met some of the most wonderful examples of kindness and acceptance along the way and we thank them.  We’ve learned to be thankful.  We’re thankful that each and every day if a gift, it’s ours to use as we see fit. We hope we’ve learned to use each gift wisely.

Tomorrow I’ll discuss the fun we had with the medical “establishment”, gee what a learning experience that was!

Hoping you celebrate today, know we will celebrate with gusto!

honor

This New Years’ Eve was happily no different from the last 3 decades and then some. We spent the evening doing a puzzle (and eating tasty snacks, of course). 20180101_112026-1_resized

Heck, I recently came across a picture of us during the dating years.  We are both leaning over a table in my parent’s house, yes, doing a jigsaw puzzle. Certainly a piece of our story.

If you know us, you know we look for a puzzle and save it for December 31st.  Our kids and friends, inevitably ask what puzzle we have chosen.

Some years the chosen puzzle is a snap. Time zooms by as we wait for the hands of the clock to strike midnight.   This year’s choice took 3 hours in the evening, then 2 more hours the following day.  It was a challenge and boy howdy did we feel a sense of accomplishment when that last piece (which was on the floor, duh) was put into place.

(side note)  Mr. Right was a marriage counselor for several years, more times than I can count, people ask, what’s the secret?  How do we keep our relationship working smoothly & thriving, vital, happy etc?  One answer I want to give is jigsaw puzzles, haha. Every now and then, spend five hours sitting next to someone, with a common goal and you get lots of communicating done.  

Once we get all the pieces turned over, the music is on, somehow the evening holds its own magic and the ideas come tumbling out.   On the cusp of the new year, we talk about wishes, goals, resolutions.  We say them aloud to the universe.

In that exact moment when the clock strikes midnight, we honor the moment……..we dare to hope. fireworks, space needle

Above the neighborhood fireworks, the mad dash to brush our teeth before the midnight smooch, there is an electric feeling in the air.  A feeling of possibility & hope for the new year.

This year, I have chosen the word Honor.

I will slip it into my pocket and carry it with me the entire year ahead. pocket

When looking up the word Honor you will find descriptive words:

  dignify, exalt, adore, keep, respect

I intend to honor the health choices that have brought me to this moment.  I want to be brave enough to talk about how, for five years, I have healed by following a path less traveled.

I intend to honor my body with continued excellent food, sunshine, movement and fresh air.

I intend to honor our home.  I make an effort every day and will continue to create a sanctuary of beauty and peace.  A beautiful place to thrive, rest & renew.

I intend to honor my craft.  I will create and share with my family, works of art from my hands. This is the year, I intend to have pictures taken of my hands creating beautiful pieces that will be given to our children and grands.  To me, this is much more than a hobby.  These are pieces of my heart and soul that I am choosing to honor my family with.

I will, with intention,  honor my husband.  I will no longer, leave out glowing comments about the man I spend my days with.  I will try my very best to soften the edges as to not sound boastful.  With the intent of not bragging, I have found myself, not exalting how fortunate I am.

It is my goal to remember to say aloud and thank him on a daily basis for guiding our family, taking the reins, mapping our course, lifting me up, making me feel like a giddy school girl who is loved and adored.

It is my job to honor him.  I am very good at my job.  I am going to try to be a bit better.

Not because he saved my life.

Not because I promised years ago to honor and cherish him.

Not because he leaves me a handwritten letter every single morning that he leaves for work.

No, not because he brings me fresh flowers every single Sunday.  Yes, every single Sunday.

GOOD GRAVY,  I love that man and I want to intentionally honor him through my actions & words20171211_132241_resized_1 on a daily basis.   He deserves to hear how much he is respected, adored, loved and honored every day.

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. Buddha

I would love for you to share the word you have chosen to slip into your pocket for 2018.  Maybe we can lift each other up?  By sharing our words, intentions, and wishes just maybe, we will each be stronger and more successful in attaining our goals?

Happy New Year!

In this together, friends.

Chat soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bad ass juicer or 209 Karat necklace

I could not decided on a title.  I chose two.

Most of the time I write to share a story.

This particular post is like a journal entry for me.  It’s to remind myself about stuff.  I am writing so I can sleep through the night and not wake up fretting.

Today, I write to boost my own spirit.  Why yes, my spirit does need boosting.

As you already know, I was diagnosed with cancer January 2013.  One doctor told Mr. Right that I had a year to live.  Feels weird to even type that.

Heads up….That was a mean, nasty thing to tell anyone.  You have absolutely NO right to give someone an expiration date. The person can’t get it out of their mind. They will remember it always.  Yes, you feel powerful for a moment in time.  Powerful at another human’s expense.  In saying that, you also took away their hope. What an awful thing to say.  Shame on you.   I hope your mother is disappointed in your behavior.  I know I sure am.

There is something beautiful and elegant in the art of giving someone hope.

Moving on….  I promise this is a really GOOD post.  I just needed to get that ugly out-of-the-way.

I chose a path less traveled.  Not a cool “travelling pants” sort of path.  A tough, rocky, weed infested, up hill, no insurance coverage kind of creature crawling path.   Sure if you agree to chemotherapy, radiation and pills, health insurance is right there, albeit through mounds and mounds of paper work, they help pay the bills. If like me, you choose not to do those things and you choose a path of healing that is not traditional………even though you pay the premiums and have excellent “health” insurance, you pay for every single thing yourself.

carrots-bunchLike carrots.  How much could one carrot cost? Seriously, I am asking you.  How much does it cost to buy one carrot?  Take a guess.

How much do 10,450 carrots cost?  

$969.76

How on earth do I know that?

Because Mr. Right keeps count.  He keeps the ring off of each 10 pound bag of carrots he juices.  He and his trusty Champion juicer get a daily work out.  Yes, that juicer has flames tattooed in all the right places.  20170508_201017-1_resizedHe makes juice for both of us.  I drink 64 ounces of fresh juice daily.  In addition to lots ofcarrots greens and fruits, every single day I drink carrots. Bunches and Bunches of carrots.

With each glass of goodness, each 10 pound bag of carrots he is simultaneously creating a beautiful necklace. That’s 209 rings, one ring each off of 10 pound bags of carrots!  That equals 10,450 CARROTS of goodness!

That’s 2,090 pounds of carrots!  Can’t imagine it?  Picture in your mind a full-grown Polar polar bearBear.  A big, strong, tough, fierce, stop at nothing bear.  That is 2,000 pounds or one TON.

Carrots contain falcarinol, a natural toxin that protects carrots against fungal disease. It’s thought that this compound may stimulate cancer-fighting mechanisms in the body, as it’s been shown to cut the risk of tumor development in rats.

We have no idea if carrots alone have healed me.  Heck, I don’t know if I am healed or carrots-800x600not.  I do know that along with mushrooms and rebounding, exercise, sunshine and vitamins/supplements, Turmeric and laughing and baking soda and magnesium, juicing, Budwig protocol, giving up & changing over 100 things and books and research….. and a list a mile long of other things that  “health” insurance does not cover…. I am still here to type this blog post.

I am one lucky girl.  I honestly don’t care if I ever win on a scratch ticket again, I got lucky where it really counts.  Mr. Right loves me and I know it.  I hope every single human on earth has another human that cares about them as much as I am cared for.  He holds one of my hands while offering me a glass of hope with the other.

20170508_201017-2_resizedI secretly love the bad-ass flames on his juicer.  Sort of rough and tumble.  That’s the sort of thing you need when you are trying to heal.  Someone, tough and fierce, someone that will stop at nothing…. on your side, that is willing to keep track of all the good we are doing.

The good has got to outweigh the bad, right?

The heft of that necklace reminds me of all the good we are doing.

In this together,

Here’s to health and wellness,  cheers!

under a common moon

Mr. Right said, come out here and look at the moon.  Okay,  but I was just out there not 10 minutes ago.

The night was pitch black, a bracing cold that sent a chill right to my bones.  Okay, not “Vermont” cold, but very cold for Washingtonians.

orange-moonOh, that moon.  Sort of took my breath away.  Bathed in a wash of orange color.  Huge and round and gorgeous.  Yes, I am more of a night owl admirer than I am a morning sunrise girl.

Years ago, when Mr. Right would be gone away for weeks at a time during the military, sometimes, I would step outside of our military housing (just so you know,  it’s so quiet outside a house with two little boys inside) just on the porch.  I would look up at the sky and take a deep breath and know we were sharing the same moon.  No matter where he was in the world, we were under the same common moon.

I felt somehow better and would go back in for another round of being a mom (and dad), home school teacher, referee, cook, laundry lady, story time lady …. and on the list went.

I can’t seem to get a handle on balance and calm lately.  I am trying every trick in the book to push the blues back and keep on a steady keel.

When I stepped out and looked at that gorgeous moon, I sort of felt this rush of people who were out there under the same moon.  It helps me to remember there are other humans dealing with the exact same things I am.

There is  a group of people who are worried and fretting about healing and wellness.  There is a group of people out there who have lost friends and loved ones & are grieving.  There are a passel of folks out there, under the common moon, who are trying to center themselves and find solid ground. Trying to find happiness and purpose and direction.

All of a sudden, I don’t feel so alone.

Finding and celebrating people who have chosen to heal naturally and who are thriving. People out there who have to figure out how to keep taking daily medicine every single day. People who don’t think I am crazy for studying and researching an hour a day.

I tell myself and smile, there is a big group of people who are quietly not judging me.  Quietly cheering me on and lifting up my spirit.

I felt like seeking out other pet owners who are trying to learn how to live gracefully with an aging pet.

In a good way, I felt humbled and happy to step into the corner of people who were trying to regroup and renew their faith in their choices and people they surround themselves with.

When you are looking up, you can’t really see the color, nor age, nor political choice of the person next to you.   Big huge announcement, no one (with any intelligence whatsoever) cares.  

What we do care about are that the people we stand with are kind, considerate, thoughtful, silly, educated, giving and just plain nice to be with.

No one, I repeat, no one wants to stand under the same moon with a person who acts like  a worm.

I haven’t felt much like writing.

Thanks for waiting and checking back.  I have been wondering, trying to find my direction. Dipping my toes in crafts and books and being a home body.    No one wants to read dull, dreary, sad-faced writing. Heck, this writer doesn’t want to write dull and dreary lines.

Some of the best days lately have been texting, talking, emailing,  sending letters to my boys and girls.  All four kids are over 30 years old.    Ha, even when I am 90 years old, they will still be my boys & girls.  70 something men & women, who will have even more developed senses of humor and intelligence and good manners.  Even though they live many states away, we are under a common moon.

My sister-in-law and friends live thousands of miles away, we are under a common moon.

Mr. Right has to work late, this time of year, we are under a common moon.

You will find me there.  Standing under the moon tonight, my beautiful sweet dog next to me…. throwing good wishes up and catching all the goodness that is thrown my way.

In this together, friends, under a common moon.

Chat soon, promise.

moon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 star soup, 10 star chef

Ah, the soup. The flavors were spot on.  You could taste layer upon layer of flavor building.  It started with a well crafted vegetarian broth.  A sprig or two of rosemary, a couple stems of thyme and a few choice pieces of parsley, all freshly picked from the garden, added to the broth to simmer in the background for another hour or so.

Once the flavors developed in the broth & herbs removed, gorgeous chunks of zucchini, garlic and onion were added.  The heat was gently brought up to a simmer.  The vegetables were allowed to play together, absorb and share their glorious flavors.   As soon as the onion and zucchini were easy to pierce with a fork…. out came the immersion blender.  The chef did it on slow and took her time.  She made sure all the timber was blended well.  Next,  3 heaping spoonfuls of lush sour cream was added.  The immersion blender reappeared and was once again instrumental in producing a creamy soup, almost silky in texture.  You could see the steam rising. 20160802_122906-1_resized

The bowls were heated before the chef used a ladle to gently ease the subtle green colored liquid silk into each.

20160802_123013-1_resizedThe garnish was quickly, yet thoughtfully applied.  Grated Parmesan, freshly snipped chives, fresh, stunning green pea shoots,  a couple of garden fresh picked peas, a chive flower and a generous amount of fresh cracked pepper. 20160802_122833-1_resized

The offered bowl of soup was a feast for the eyes.

That first bite.  Eyes closed, the warm, creamy liquid did a slow dance in our mouths just a moment before it slid down our throats.  I just barely caught the slight salt of the cheese garnish and the bite of the fresh pepper.  The mingling of savory delights was a symphony of flavors any restaurateur would be more than proud to offer to their guests.

Well done.  5 star good.

Yes, that good.

A simple, elegant lunch, however I thought I could going on eating that delicious offering all afternoon. I knew I would remember that meal for some time.

Oh, did I mention the creator’s name?  I am proud to say my friend, Chef Natalie, age 10.

You read that correctly.  AGE 10.

Because of her parents, she is respectful, smart, thoughtful, curious and a hard worker. She is over the moon enthusiastic and eager to learn, as much as she can, as fast as she can.

20160802_094355-1_resizedI had the privilege of spending the day with her.  Somehow, just by working side by side, she elevates the game.  You bring your A game, because, well, quite honestly, she is watching your every move.

She is serious.  Oh sure, she has an infectious laugh, is quick-witted and asks purposeful questions.  Don’t for one moment, let your guard down and causally  think this is child’s play.  This is the real deal.  She listened to and wanted to learn how to use a Coco-Jack to open a young coconut.  She was listening to every single safety rule about how to use the immersion blender.  She was already comfortable with the Blend-Tec, food processor and Kitchen-Aid.

We tied our hair back, we put on fresh aprons, we wore closed toe shoes, we washed our hands again and again and again.  We tasted and then flipped the spoon around and used the handle to taste again.  We went through a drawer full of spoons and I folded 11 freshly laundered kitchen towels this morning.  We worked the day through. 20160802_121402-1_resized

She made a meal for her family. Eyes on the prize.  Serving her brother, Dad and Mom a meal she could be proud of.  She never once lost focus.  She is fierce and determined.  She served them an appetizer, a soup course, the main meal and a dessert to finish.

The day began for us with glorious smoothies using fresh young coconut and the water, strawberries, mango, spinach and lime.  Chefs need to be well nourished so they can concentrate on cooking well for others.

The days’ list unfolded like this:

Smoothies

Zucchini Soup

Chihuly Salad

Pot Stickers

Molasses Cookies

She picked & gathered green beans, tomatoes, radishes, herbs and a fresh egg. She learned about and started a batch of sprouts in the kitchen.

It was a full day of learning, giggling & oodles of fun.  It was the good kind of tired.  You know?  So tired from cooking all day, yet somehow re-energized with pure joy and enthusiasm to serve the meal to your family.

I was the sous chef.  I helped and washed dishes. I scrubbed carrots, beets and a pear.  I washed bok choy & spinach.   I sent pictures to mom and dad throughout the day. I got out fresh kitchen towels, different tools, appliances and kept things moving along our time line.

When she says “I made pot stickers”.  She really means, she chopped the ingredients, made the savory filling, learned to make dumplings and took 46 home to her family.  The chefs in the kitchen each got to cook and sample one.  Oh, be still my heart.  Lush, moist filling inside a plump, perfectly steamed dumpling wrapper. Oh yeah, she made pot stickers and a lovely sauce to serve alongside.

*Housekeeping note:  Because my friend is under 18, I asked for and received permission from her parents to share these pictures.

I wanted to write this post as sort of a thank you to my friend.  I loved spending the day together.  The day flew by and I can’t remember smiling as much as I did.    Then I got to thinking.  I wanted to share this because, it’s what many of us are looking for.

You know when we (grown up adults) all sigh and complain that we are not sure what our mission is, or what our calling is?

Maybe, just maybe our calling is to be the “sous chef”?  Maybe, our mission is to lift someone else up and help them stretch up on their tippy toes, while they stand on a kitchen stool to reach their potential?

May you be a “victim of Grace” as I was.  While washing dishes and gently reminding a young chef to keep their fingers curled under while using a mighty big knife…….may you be gobsmacked by the Grace and Goodness of a young person who is looking to you.

In this together friends, all covered and splattered with grace.

Bon Appetit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

angel among us

This US Army family celebrated a retired Air Force Colonel on the Fourth of July.

Saturday, July 4th, as our American flag gloriously swayed in the breeze , our yard edged and mowed, the beautiful bunting was hanging proudly with the anticipation of a bar-b-que, blackberry pie and a huge fireworks display to come, we remembered a man.

Bill Henderson

My husband wrote these words about him:

“Today the world said goodbye to Bill Henderson.  If you don’t know who Bill was then you’ve never fought cancer naturally.  Bill offered us hope when we had none and literally saved Mrs. Right’s life.  Though we never had the honor of meeting Bill, he had a profound and deep impact on our lives.  Sometimes there are angels among us, and now he is home.  You literally saved thousands of lives Bill and we all benefited from your calm wisdom and your generous spirit.  Rest in Peace.” 

Some of you know my story, some may not.

January 2013 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  (No, I did not forget to capitalize those letters.)  I can assure you that I know exactly, the number of days it has been.  For the sake of story telling, let’s just say, 3.5 years since I heard those words?  Lots of words, lots and lots of words, buckets of panic, fear and pressure. I cannot put into words the urgency in which the doctor laced the words “you have probably one year”.

The neighbor man said, “don’t worry, you might have 3 good months left”.  “Friends” were afraid and jumped ship quickly. People I did tell, did not know what to say, so they didn’t say anything to me.  They asked Mr. Right questions…..what stage is it?, where is it located?, how long does she have?, when does treatment start?……………………..They all assured him they needed to know these things so they could pray for me.  What?

In the first year, other than my family, 2 people stopped by to say hello.  Don’t misunderstand, people cared.  They sent cards and some emails.

cancer scares the HELL out of people and they didn’t want to be around it.  Once a medical person put on gloves to come in and do paperwork!  I even was brave enough to ask her if she thought she would catch what I have.  She didn’t answer.  sigh.

Fear is a heavy, heavy blanket.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I know exactly where I am going when I am finished with this life.  I am counting on it!  I am trying to live a life with that destination in mind.

I just had this feeling that I had some life left to live.  I have a husband to adore, love & take care of, children to bother and grands to fuss over and smoother with hugs & kisses and presents and homemade treats and…  I just had an inkling that I wasn’t quite through with my mission.

I was afraid of the medical procedures.  Not just the pain and humiliation.   I was raised with some radically different religious beliefs, so the medical procedures were not something I was gung-ho about. I did not want to be poisoned to achieve healing.

Shaken to my core and on my knees, I made the decision to say no thank you.  No thank you to chemotherapy and radiation.            I learned that chemotherapy and radiation have a 97.4 % chance of NOT working with breast cancer, not healing, not helping.   I didn’t know what the heck I was going to do.

While I can tell you exactly where I was standing, what I was wearing and what I was doing when I made those choices, in no way did I feel fierce or brave or courageous.

I felt beaten. I had no hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enter Bill Henderson.

FB_IMG_1467780683045 (1)He was the first person to offer me hope.

HOPE

Hope is a mighty powerful gift. 

Yes,  always  Mr. Right, some of my family and a couple of friends believed in my decision……..everyone else was extremely polite, friendly, fake supportive, yet thought I was crazy ( and most likely still do)  CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs crazy for choosing the path less traveled. Many prayed for me to “see the light” and just get the treatment, just take the pill.

Bill offered up solutions, many, many solutions.  He offered up education, research,  ideas, kindness, quiet strength, vision, a road map to health & wellness and most of all he offered the golden ticket, HOPE.  He believed in my decision. He said, sure you can do this, come on, I’ll show you.

Ty Bollinger wrote a powerful tribute to Bill.  You can read it here:      https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/bill-henderson-cancer-tribute/?gl=582827493

I am healing.  Each day, I get a bit stronger.  Every once in a while, I have set backs.  Yeah, they knock the wind out of me.  I am not yet ready to shake the world by the tail and scream at the top of my lungs, look at me.

What I am ready to do is offer HOPE.

Bill Henderson gave it to me.  Free.  No strings attached.  If you ever, ever, ever need a person to offer up hope, call me.  I will be there if I can or at least talk your ear off on the phone or make you ask the question, “how many words can one person type while texting?”……No matter what the trouble, diagnosis, issue……..I am your person.  I will offer hope.  Yes, even when everyone else has let you down, I won’t.

The biggest lesson of my life so far. Offering another human being, Hope.

I was thrown a life line.  I grasped it.  It kept my head above water.

Bill Henderson saved my life.

I am grateful.  I will live a life of gratitude for all the days of my life.

In my heart I KNOW, Bill heard the words that he so deserved:

Well Done Thou Good and Faithful Servant.

Amen.